Extracts from the Encyclopedia
“The Grammar of Glittery Glamour”
by The Original and Glamorous Miss Lou Lou

Glittery Glamour Tip #1

Ever had trouble trying to dry those freshly painted nails?
If your answer is yes, I have a glittery glamour tip for you!

Step 1
Simply dip your wet fingernails, with fingers, into dish full of iced water.
Remember to have the iced water ready beforehand so as not to smudge.

Step 2
Or pop your hands with wet nails into the freezer for a couple of minutes.

Step 3
Make sure that your fingers are not wet when placing in the freezer, as they may stick.
-Then of course you wont care a single bit about your smudged nails because you wont have any skin left on your fingers!

Glittery Glamour Tip #2

How to apply false eyelashes – a very delicate procedure,
but once mastered, the skill will stay with you for life.
Choosing the Lash – Usually there is a confusing selection of lengths and thicknesses at your local pharmacist.
A novice choosing Lashes that are too long; if applied incorrectly; can look as though you have applied a couple of Daddy Long Leg spiders to your eyelids.
Thickish and shortish is my suggestion, at least until you get the hang of it.

Step 1
Trim to remove the shortest inside hairs of the eyelash, maybe 1 mm or so.
This will prevent the eyelashes hanging off the outside of your eyelid
and giving you the look of a Lazy eye.
Apply a thin line of the provided eyelash glue to one of the rims of the false eyelashes.
Give the glue a couple of seconds to start setting.

Step 2
Line the shortest lashes up with the inside circumference of your iris.
(Confused? ask me and I will show you what I mean!)
Then apply to your eyelid from the inside to the outside of your lid.

Step 3
Make sure your eye is closed when applying the eyelash. The glue will not stick a wet eyeball!
Repeat procedure to the other eye.

Glittery Glamour Tip #3

Ever had trouble trying to remove ugly excess eyelash glue from your false eyelashes?
If your answer is yes, I have a glittery glamour tip for you!

Simply soak your unsightly false eyelashes in a small container filled with Metholated spirits
for approx 30 minutes.
Make sure you have removed them from your eyes before hand.
Then gently peel off the gunk. Voila! Allow to dry and ready to apply!

Glittery Glamour Tip #4

How to get your teeth really white. Most show business people spend a tremendous amount of money at the dentist trying to get the perfect smile.
I have some tips for you that will give a lovely white smile for an affordable price!

Simply visit your local costume hire shop, they usually have a fabulous rage of rubber teeth.
Choose the type of look that will suit you best and buy them straight over the counter!

Step 1
Make sure you wash them before insertion.

Step 2
Try not to talk with them in your mouth.

Step 3
Definitely dont chew gum whilst inserted.

Glittery Glamour Tip #5

Ever wondered how the stars of Hollywood get that healthy glowing skin look?
Have I got a tip for you! – at an affordable price!
No need to fork hundreds of dollars on expensive masks, creams and exfoliaters.
The simple and natural way is sitting right at home in your refrigerator or pantry!

Stage 1
To cleanse- Mix together 1 tablespoon of margarine, 1 tablespoon of liverwurst and 1 tablespoon of tomato sauce to make nice a thick paste. Gently massage onto face and neck and remove with cotton pad.

Stage 2
To exfoliate- Grind in a clean bowl 10 Cheezles,
add I tablespoon of sweetened condensed milk. Work into a paste.
Gently massage into face using upward strokes, exfoliating away dead skin cells.

Stage 3
The moisturizing mask- Open a small tin of Ham flavored Baked Beans pour into bowl and mash with fork.
Add I packet of chicken noodle soup and mix thoroughly.
Apply to face, keeping away from eyes.
Time to relax and let the mask go to work.
Lay down and have a rest, placing two chocolate covered donuts on your eyes to help reduce puffiness.

Glittery Glamour Tip #6

How to keep smiling whilst freaking out –
For some, performing on stage can be a horrendous experience,
your mouth becomes dry, your lips peel back and stick to your teeth.

The solution is easy. Take a small amount of Vaseline and smooth a thin layer onto your teeth, this usually keeps your teeth lubricated and prevents the “Crazed Zombie look.”

Warning – Use only a small amount, as too much Vaseline could quite easily turn your dry un-lubricated mouth into a slobbery, drooling mess.
Another unsightly performers problem which I am yet to address!