Dr Lottie at work.

Psychiatrically Disordered and Mentally Unstable

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Recently I went to IKEA to buy a new bed. This seems like an easy task to most, but I am writing to you because it was the most stressful event I have ever had in my entire life and I am wondering if I am over-reacting.
Foolishly I thought you could simply order a bed and have it delivered. But I was wrong.
After finding the bed in the enormous rabbit warren, I needed to write down a series of aisle numbers and product codes so that I could locate it in the pick up area, then order a mattress, collect a receipt and make my way through the entire store to where I would pick up the pieces for the bed.

Stupidly I had picked up two rugs on my travels and as there was no trolley’s in sight, I had to drag them through the store.
I reached the trolley station, exhausted; I placed the rugs on the trolley. I started to search out the aisle numbers and product codes, insanely frazzled, I asked for help from an IKEA worker!
This assistant must have been born with no insides, as his face and body were limp as waved his hand in a vague direction toward the pieces to be put on the trolley. They were huge. No assistance was offered from the jellyfish as I struggled with them. Then I had to get the mattress! How?

Fighting back tears I asked the limp rag how to get the mattress and how do I push two trolleys? He said I had to pay for everything first and then pick up the mattress from over there; he vaguely waved a limp arm toward the west.
Standing in a cue with thousands of happy customers, I waited. Finally I am ready to pay, I open my purse and to my horror, my credit card is missing! My eyes instantly rolled into the back of my head, I rummaged through my bag and couldn’t find anything useful except a cheque book. This could be used, but I had to go to another counter. The tick in my left eye started to grow more intense as I pushed the trolley over to another counter.

All paid up I put the receipt into my wallet and headed to the next counter for the mattress. They needed the receipt. Why don’t I empty my wallet occasionally? I couldn’t find the receipt, so I spread all the receipts out all over the counter and suggested to the new limp sea creature that he should find the receipt. Finally the mattress is wheeled out and I push two enormous trolleys over to the home delivery counter.

It seems like the tragedy is almost over until the rugs need to be removed from underneath the pile of bed frame. Why, why, it’s all too much!
I find another trolley for the rugs and after paying cash and leaving my mobile phone number for them to be able to contact me for delivery, I leave the bed and mattress and push the trolley with my rugs out the front door. Fresh air, I am free!
But no, I had to leave my trolley at the trolley station; you can’t push the trolley into the car park. Take this ticket.
Twitch, twitch went my eye as I wiped the froth from the corners of my mouth and walked towards the car park, validate my parking ticket, no please don’t make me go back in there.
I won’t go. I wont validate.
I got into my car, what did I do with that parking ticket, have I got the trolley ticket. Get me out of here!
Handing my ticket to the trolley attendant, he waved a limp arm at the trolley and walked off. In IKEA language this means, load the rugs into the car your self.

As I drove down the ramp I thought I should call my husband to say the bed was ordered, paid for and did he have my credit card. Reaching into my bag I had a flash of where I had left my mobile phone, it was back at work on the bench.

It was a strained journey home as I worried about how the delivery service would contact me about the arrival of the bed, where my credit card disappeared to and would I make it back home through traffic to pick up my children before 3.30pm, make a birthday cake, blow balloons, hang streamers and throw a party for my son.
Dr. Lottie, I am now hyperventilating as I write this to you.
Do you think I have an anxiety problem?

Signed Psychiatrically Disordered and Mentally Unstable.

Dear Psychiatrically Disordered and Mentally Unstable,
Interestingly enough I too have bought a bed at IKEA.
I found the whole experience magnificently exciting, a bit like being on camp when I was a Girl Guide many years ago.
People these days are far too soft, I feel you need to toughen up
I applaud Mr. IKEA and his tremendous Do-it-yourself ways.
My suggestion to you is to return the bed; another event in itself; spin on your heel and return into IKEA buy another bed. This time remember your credit card.

Thank you for your tall tale of insane proportions.
Dr Lottie.

Hungry and Hobbling

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Recently I had surgery on both of my feet. The night I came home from the hospital, I was a little delirious to say the least and was wheeled from the car to the bed in a wheelchair.
Lying in bed, starving from fasting all day I thought to myself, “ I wonder if per chance there may be little dinner coming my way?”
Right on cue, my husband waltzed through the door with an enormous bowl of pasta and a chilled glass of wine. I was so relieved and thankful, smiling I said “Thank you, how wonderful!” He quickly corrected me saying that it was for himself!
Then sitting on the bed next to me with an enormous mouthful of spaghetti he mumbled, “Tell me when you are hungry”. I said without delay, “I’m hungry”. And thinking I was being terribly funny he chuckled into his dinner saying, “No really, tell me when you are hungry”. I replied, “I’m hungry!”
After finishing his dinner he brought me in something to eat and then proceeded to fall asleep on the couch, leaving me to get the children to bed.
Do you think this is ground for divorce?

Signed Hungry and Hobbling.

Dear Hungry and Hobbling,
I think divorce is probably a little drastic there are far better ways of getting back at your husband than divorcing him and fleecing him for all he is worth.
Hold onto your anger and wait until the next time when he has come down with “The Man Flu”. Wait till he is lying in bed with a fever, delirious and feeble. Then quietly spend good half hour getting all freshened up. Perfumed, powdered and with your brand new matching sexy underwear, pounce on him and demand from him all that you are worth.

Thank you for your neglected letter.
Dr Lottie.

Troubled and Distracted

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Lately my Tap Dancing class has not been as enjoyable as it usually is. The reason for this is because I keep getting placed to a woman who recites all the tap dancing steps as she is dancing them.
For instance, if we are dancing across the room with two Glides and four Hit Springs, this particular woman pants out “Glide – Glide – Hit Spring – Hit Spring – Hit Spring – Hit Spring.” In the puffiest, most sweatiest voice.
I find it so incredibly distracting as she is chatting to herself extremely loudly the entire class. I am not sure what to do, as I don’t want to hurt her feeling by being placed next to some else.
Do you have any suggestions Dr. Lottie?

Signed Troubled and Distracted.

Dear Troubled and Distracted,
It seems to me that you are a little bit self-absorbed within your dance class. Part of dance lessons is about being part of a group and getting along with all involved.
Last week I suggested a decrepit old horse rider to take up knitting, but this I feel would be the wrong suggestion for you. One pearl, one Plain might drive yourself or whoever is sitting next to you around the twist.

My suggestion to you is to just get on with it and stop your moaning, she is probably having the time of her life, she may not be speaking to herself, she may be offering help that you don’t realize you need because you are so self absorbed.

Thank you for your irritable letter.

Dr Lottie.

Dr.Lottie and The Professor keeping the spark alive.

Bowed and Broken

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am wondering if you have a solution to my disheartening problem…
Recently I reluctantly retired from many, many years of riding the range rounding cattle and breaking-in wild Brumbies.
Lonely and dispassionate I hunted down a new form of exercise and took up Tap Dancing.
When I saw myself in the unflattering mirrors I came to notice that my knees were permanently some distance apart.
Not only is it very disconcerting to observe my stature in the mirror, but the wind howls between my legs as I Glide across the room.
How can I create a more elegant Glide and a sleeker line?

Signed Bowed and Broken.

Dear Bowed and Broken,
This is an exceedingly wretched dilemma.
I feel the only thing that i can suggest for you is to take up Tunnel-Ball.

Thank you for your howling letter.
Dr Lottie.

Anxious and Apprehensive

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am getting ready for my annual end of year concert with my dancing school.
I am rather excited, but at the same time and I am terribly nervous.
Last year when the curtain opened and the music started, my mouth went completely dry, I couldn’t
swallow, breathe, or move my legs.
It wasn’t until somebody elbowed me in the ribs did I start dancing.
Is there any managing to this impossible problem?

Signed Anxious and Apprehensive.

Dear Anxious and Apprehensive,
It sounds to me that you are suffering from intense stage fright.
This is quite a common occurrence amongst amateurs and even seasoned
performers.
Stage fright is often confused with lack of talent and in your case your
wouldn’t want to be “Given the Hook” and be dragged off stage.
In the days of Vaudeville very bad acts were hooted vehemently and, when the
boos reached a peak, the manager would reach out from the wings with a long
pole bearing a hook at the end and unceremoniously jerk the ham out of the
limelight.
I don’t expect your dance school would go to such extreme measures, but my
advice to you is that you should get it together before going on stage.

Thank you for your amateur letter,
Dr Lottie.

Dr. Lottie and The Professor.

Liquid and Rancid

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I have a recurring problem where, when I dance in the heat, a river of sweat builds within the depths of my bazoombas. Sometimes I can’t hear myself tap over the sound of rushing water.
Do you have any fail safe advice on this matter?

Signed Liquid and Rancid.

Dear Liquid and Rancid,
Since we are in the middle of a severe drought and that water restrictions are now at stage 3, any water is a precious commodity.
I suggest that you unleash your torrent of perspiration on the garden at the front door as you leave.
Thank you for your stifling letter.
Dr Lottie.

Sodden and Saturated

Dear Dr. Lottie,
What I would like to know is why some people sweat more than others.
Some people; such as myself; get lathered in sweat, I have beads of water running down my cheeks, my hair plastered down, my tee shirt stuck to my back with enormous wet stains under my armpits, whilst others don’t even seem to form the slightest whisper of moisture on their brow?
I am curious to know and I hope you can shed some light on this unsound situation for me.
Signed Sodden and Saturated.

Dear Sodden and Saturated,
I have had quite a few letters recently about sweat.
This must be a very interesting subject to some.
I am curious if it is actually “you” that you are writing to me about, or, are you being discreet about another stinky, sweaty person that you are forced to dance next to in a Dance class??
Unfortunately I cannot shed any light on the answer to your question, as i have never suffered from such an unfortunate problem.
Thank you for your baffling letter.
Dr Lottie.

Nervous and Naked

Dear Dr. Lottie,
My younger Brother and his Fiancé are getting married in two weeks time and have asked me to Dance at their wedding.
I am happy to do so, but unfortunately I have been lying to my family about my profession and the only type of dance routine I can perform is one where I leap out of a cake and strip down to a
G-String.
Do you think it is appropriate to perform a dance as such at my younger brothers wedding?
Signed Nervous and Naked.

Dear Nervous and Naked,
This really is an interesting situation, I am sure you are as well trained at your dancing as are with your lying.
I feel you should leave the unveiling of the truth until the night of the wedding and leap out of the cake.
It may kill off a few of the Grandparents in the room but it would sure make nice surprise!

Thank you for your revealing letter.
Dr Lottie.

Chafed and Comfortless

Dear Dr Lottie,
I have a recurring problem that I am hoping you can help me with.
I attend tap dancing classes on a Tuesday evening and every single time, without fail, when we practice our Time Steps, my underwear rides way, way up.
It is a very annoying and uncomfortable problem and I feel extremely embarrassed and exceedingly conspicuous if I attempt to adjust them as we are dancing in front of enormous mirrors.
I have tried several types of underwear from seamless to boy leg, bikini brief and even
non-bikini brief.
Do you have a solution to this very excruciating problem?
Signed Chafed and Comfortless.

Dear Chafed and Comfortless,
Have you tried not wearing any underwear?
My Husband swears by it.
Thank you for your agonizing letter.
Dr Lottie.

Noisy and Embarrassed

Dear Dr Lottie,
Every time I go to my tap dancing classes, my false teeth clack uncontrollably, do you have any suggestions for this unfortunate problem?
Signed Noisy and Embarrassed.

Dear Noisy and Embarrassed,
I feel your noisy habit shouldn’t be such a problem as there is bound to be a lot of clacking in a tap dancing class. My advice is to be brave and let your teeth clack in rhythm with your feet, be proud clack loud!
Thank you for your boisterous letter.
Dr Lottie.

Perplexed and Mystified

Dear Dr Lottie,
Recently I read an article with Angelina (Jolie) where she stated that she was actually a man.
I am very confused as I thought that she was pregnant to Brad (Pitt)?
How could this possibly be? We all know that Men cant conceive!

Signed Perplexed and Mystified.

Dear Perplexed and Mystified,
You must never believe anything you read in the Media as they tend to distort the truth.
But in this case i think the cat is out of the bag, of course she is a man, why would she adopt all those children?
Thank you for your gullible letter. Dr Lottie.

Alone and Frustrated

Dear Dr Lottie,
Every time I practice my tap dancing, my dog starts to howl. What can I do ?
Signed Alone and Confused.

Dear Alone and Frustrated,
Don’t practice.
Thank you for your disturbed letter. Dr Lottie.

Tired and Confused

Dear Dr Lottie,
When I come home from tap dancing classes I have trouble getting to sleep that night.
Do you have any sleeping tips to help me calm down after dancing?

Signed Tired and Confused.

Dear Tired and Confused,
The obvious advice to give you here would be not to go to Tap Dancing, but I do have a little trick that helps me get to sleep of an evening.
Once you are in bed, get in your most comfortable position, snuggle in, get really cozy.
Now imagine you are on an enormous Jumbo jet flying across the ocean, to a far away land.
Start to imagine that you are at the back of the plane, the second last seat, middle row. You have two very large drunk and hairy grandmothers sitting either side you. The people sitting behind you are playing snap on the tray table attached to the back of your seat. The light won’t switch off above you, the air vent won’t switch on.
Grandma number one has stolen your pillow, grandma number two has stolen your blanket and they are both asleep and snoring loudly.
Forty two hours to go and the seat won’t lay back.
Now quietly say to yourself “I wish I were at home in my nice warm bed, hang on a minute, I am!”
You will be so happy that you are not on that flight that you will be asleep in a flash.
Thank you for your vigilant letter. Dr Lottie.

Dr Lottie at the Lowrie Organ

Hello in Native American, Umatilla Tribe from Oregon United States.
Hello to Term 3! Welcome back and Welcome to all our lovely newies!

- Happy Birthday for to –

Mordialloc Studio - Miss Alyese, Miss Amanda, Miss Ava, Miss Bonnie, Miss Breanna,
Miss Caitlin, Miss Charlotte, Miss Claire, Miss Elissa, Miss Eve, Miss Grace, Miss Jasmine P, Miss Jasmine S,
Miss Jessica, Miss Kristi, Miss Kyra, Miss Lucy, Miss Madeline, Miss Piper, Miss Ruby, Miss Sandhia, Miss Sarah,
Miss Sophie and Miss Zoe!

Northcote Studio – Miss Cassandra, Miss Ella, Miss Diane, Miss Eve,
Miss Julia, Miss Kate, Miss Kiki, Miss Ruby and Miss Nia!

St Kilda Studio – Miss Abby, Miss Alexandra, Miss Amelia, Miss Amy,
Miss Bella, Miss Brier, Mr. Campbell, Miss Cara-Mia, Miss Chloe, Miss Clare, Miss Ella,
Miss Ellie, Miss Emka, Miss Evie, Mr. Hamish, Miss Harriet,Miss Harvey, Miss Hope, Miss Indi,
Miss India, Miss Jasmine, Miss Lauren, Miss Lexi, Miss Lily, Miss Lucy W, Miss Lucy C, Miss Mia,
Miss Mika,Miss Olivia, Miss Ruby M, Miss Ruby W, Miss Sarah, Miss Sophie, Miss Taylor, Miss Tia,
Miss Tobi, Miss Vanessa, Miss Zimian and Miss Starlight!

Siblings in Class

As much as we love having the little sisters and brothers around to watch their older siblings, we ask that they don’t join in with the class until the end when we dance with the bubbles.
It becomes distracting for the older sister as they help their little sister/brother do the class (which is gorgeous) but it actually interrupts their class and the teachers find it difficult to keep the class running smoothly and moving forward.
It can also be dangerous if the biggies are skipping and doing their big kids thang, they can bowl over the little ones.
Thanks for understanding.

Mums in Class – Important please read this!

We love Mums and Dads watching, but if your child is settled and happy within the class we request that you make yourselves a lovely cuppa tea or coffee and watch them from the Dolls House (Northcote) or upstairs (St Kilda).
We find that the parent’s chat is so loud that our glamorous teachers are shouting over the top of the rabble!
It also makes it difficult as the child often runs back to Mummy or Daddy and stops the flow of the class.
We are going to start on Dance routines for our Concert and we also want to give you a surprise!

Grand Parents and extra family members!

We are happy for grandparents and family from out of town coming to watch the classes, but PLEASE LET US KNOW THAT THEY ARE COMING IN TO WATCH.
We need to limit the amount of adults we have in the studio and again, we need you to keep the chat down.

Chairs in the studio!

If it is necessary for you to stay in the studio with your child, we ask that you return the chair that you have sat on to the Dolls House afterward. Thanks.

Enrolment Forms

If you have changed address or details or if you are new to the Glittery Tapping Wonderland, please make sure you have filled out an enrolment form. This ensures a “Happy Birthday” for your child and an email with our newsletter!
Go to www.glitterytappingwonderland.com Select school e.g. St Kilda, click on the “Enrol & Pay Fees” Fill in the form and submit! Easy!

Glitterization Day

Tentative Date for our next Glitterization Day-
Sunday the 22^nd of August!

Our Concert – Dance Explosion!

The theme for this year’s concert is -
“Why did you do that!?”
If you have any great ideas or scenarios, please let us know. We have been working on some kooky ideas, songs and choreography.

Concert Update

Our concerts and rehearsals are designed to be as painless and stress free as possible!
We have an evening show for adult dancers and daytime shows for the kids.
We perform at Wesley College, on St Kilda Road.

The Mordialloc Studio will split up with Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes performing in one show on
Sunday the 12^th of December at 1.00pm.
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday classes will perform in a separate show
Sunday the 12^th of December at 4.00pm.

The St Kilda Studio will have their concert on
Saturday the 11^th of December at 3.00pm.

The Northcote Studio is yet to be confirmed, proposing
Saturday the 11^th of December at 12 noon.

This ensures that our Concert doesn’t run for 300 hours!

Rehearsals

Our rehearsals are on the weekend of
Saturday the 6th & Sunday the 7th November.
The times and days yet to be confirmed.
Each dance class is given a 10 minute time slot to perform their class routine on the stage in costume with their music and their teacher.
We find this helps everyone know where they are meant to go, how the stage feels and can make some boo-boos, without stress.
There is also a 30 time slot set aside for “The Finale” which is set into the middle of the rehearsal so that you don’t have to wait until the end of the rehearsal to practise the finale.
We try to keep the rehearsal as short as possible for everyone’s sake!
We don’t run a rehearsal of the show from start to finish as this would take too much of everyone’s precious time, it also make s a fun and crazy show with lots of spontaneity!

2 to 3 YEAR OLD CLASSES - Don’t participate in the Explosion at the theatre. We invite the parents and grandparents to watch the last class of
Term 4 and they can be exhilarated by their fairies wearing their bestest fairy dress showing off their wonderful dancing skills! Depending on the class... they may have a little dance to perform ... or not!

COSTUMES - We have an attic full of fabulous costumes, tutus and accessories that we rent for the concert, hire fee is somewhere between $20 and $30. (No sewing!!)

DVD – a professional company, who edits it and has them ready for you usually before Christmas, films the concert.
DVD’s are usually around $30, which you will need to pre-order and pay for.
PHOTOS - We allow photos to be taken during the concert and ask parents to come to the front of the stage and take a photo of their child after they have finished their dance.
We will keep you updated on all the Explosion information as the year passes on through the Taploid.

Photos in Class

We are happy if you photograph your darlings in class, as these are such gorgeous moments to capture and look back on in years to come.
Please check that no one else is freaking out about it though!

Fund Raising

If your School, Kindergarten/Crèche is having a fundraising event coming up, the Glittery Tapping Wonderland is always happy to donate a lovely package!
Please see your teacher and we can organize a package for you!

HEALTH CORNER

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Last Friday I hurt my back trying to move a dressing table by myself.
The dresser was in an awkward spot and I twisted my back as I lifted it.
Over the weekend my back has increasingly worsened and now I can’t move out of a horizontal position, I have lain flat on my back in bed for two days now.

Unfortunately for me, my husband finds this incredibly arousing, instead of looking after me and letting me rest so that I can get better, he is completely stimulated.
I am not sure how to handle this situation as I am in too much pain to push him away.
Do you have some advice Dr. Lottie?
Signed Discomforted and Hunted.

Dear Discomforted and Hunted, Firstly, what in the dickens were you thinking when trying to lift a dressing table by yourself and did you not bend from the knees?
Apart from the people of today being too soft, they are also, too unthinking. I have no sympathy for you.

As for your husband pursuing you whilst you are flat on your back, I say good luck to him and to get jiggy with it while he can. The Professor is always running from bedroom with a headache and it drives me to distraction.

Thank you for your susceptible letter.
Dr Lottie.

Thanks for reading!  Love Miss Lou Lou xx

Happy Birthday to-

Miss Abigail, Miss Alexis, Miss Alice, Miss Amanda, Miss Amelia, Miss Daisy, Miss Emma, Miss Evie, Miss Hayley, Miss Isabelle, Miss Josephine, Miss Madeleine, Miss Lily, Miss Luana, Miss Madyssen, Miss Melinda, Miss Mia, Miss Naomi, Mr. Nicholas, Miss Rhonda, Miss Shae, Miss Zara, Miss Shelby, Miss Sophie, Miss Stella, Miss Summer, Miss Susannah, Miss Tiffani, Miss Zara, Miss Zoe, Miss Ada, Miss Lauren, Miss Margarite, Miss Martha, Miss Maya, Miss Mia, Miss Amelie, Miss Anika, Miss Asha, Miss Ava, Miss Bridget, Miss Gemma, Miss Gisele, Miss Grace, Miss Henrietta, Miss Lucy, Miss Poppy, Miss Sophie, Miss Tily and Miss Zoe!

Enrolment Forms

If you happen to be reading this at one of our Studio’s and haven’t received our Taploid via email, your email address maybe one of the hundreds that keep coming back!
The most painless way to make sure we have the correct information is to fill in the enrolment form online.

Long Weekend

Usually we run dancing classes on the Monday of a long weekend. The reason being that Monday misses out on so many classes if we don’t run them!
Please check with your teacher if the class is on or call -
Mordialloc Call Miss Twinkle Toes on 0420 356 232
St Kilda Call Miss Starlight on 0420 321 881
Northcote Call Miss Lollipop on 0449 049 161

It’s Freezing!!

Trying to heat our big old Factories that have been turned into glamorous dancing studios is quite a difficult exercise!
There are many blowholes that let in copious and billowing amounts of cold air. We have purchased quite a few new heaters to try and keep everyone warm.
Please layer up your children so they are warm to begin with and can strip off the layers as the class moves along.
This might be difficult for some mothers who have strong willed three year olds that dress themselves… you can always say that Miss Lou Lou loves to put on lots of warm clothes in the winter time! (Goodluck!)
Please remind your children not to go too close to the heaters.
And PLEASE KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED! Thanks : )

Glitterization Day

We had lovely Glitterization days on Saturday afternoon at St Kilda and Northcote. If you missed out and are keen, we have a Glitterization Day at Mordialloc this Saturday at 3.00pm. Call Miss Twinkle Toes on 0420 356 232 if you are keen to come along!

Enrolments Term 3

Please see your teacher and make sure you are signed up for T erm 3. We are having Open Days in all of our Studio’s and will have quite a few newies. To ensure you place is held for Term 3, we need you to either pay a deposit or Term Fees.

Early Bird Discount

If you are keen to receive the Early Bird Discount you can pay online before Sunday the 11th of June closing at 6.00pm. 2nd Child/Class only available if paid prior to, or during the 1st week of term. Fees can be paid at the studio by Cash, Cheque, Credit Card &; EFT.

Fund Raising

If your School, Kindergarten/Crèche is having a fundraising event coming up, the Glittery Tapping Wonderland is always happy to donate a lovely package! Please see your teacher and we can organize a package for you!

Open Day’s

At the beginning of each Term we have had an Open Day for new students to try out classes and see if they are ready for dancing and what style of class they are keen on. If you know of anyone who is keen, please let him or her know that our Open Days are coming up.
Mordialloc Open Day
Sunday the 11th of July. Call Miss Twinkle Toes on 0420 356 232
St Kilda Open Day’s
Sunday the 20th of June. Sunday the 11th of July. Call Miss Starlight on 0420 321 881
Northcote Open Day’s
Sunday the 20th of June. Saturday the 10th of July. Call Miss Lollipop on 0449 049 161

HEALTH CORNER

Questions to the highly qualified Dr Lottie Prospect

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am moving my family into a new house this week and I have spent the last month sorting though, packing up, chucking out and boxing up my family’s possessions.
The moving van is on its way, but now I am having second thoughts. What if I don’t like the house? I only saw it once. What if my husband and I don’t like each other after we move in?
I already have plans to lock him in the bathroom before we leave. Have made the wrong decision?
Signed Angst-Ridden and Agitated.

Dear Angst-Ridden and Agitated, I feel you have undergone a lot of stress and turmoil over the past month.
Research has shown that moving house is one of the most stressful life events a family can go through, alongside the level of stress when going through divorce and death.
Last minute fears and doubts can crowd your mind and fill you with hesitation about your decision to move.
My suggestion to you is to put together all the boxes that essentially belong to you, lock all of your family in the bathroom and take off with the removalist.
Thank you for your disturbing letter. Dr. Lottie.

Thanks for reading!
Love Miss Lou Lou xx

Welcome to the Glittery Tapping Wonderland!
For all our lovely newies, you are now reading our “Taploid” which is our monthly newsletter, we also email it to you and it is also on our website!

Everyone seems to be settling into our new Term and enjoying our gorgeous classes. The first class of term is usually a bit crazy as we settle back into it but things will be settling down now that we are getting to know the run of the place. For some, it is their first experience at a dance class and we want to make them feel safe and happy!

Happy Birthday for April to -

Miss Lara, Miss Amelia, Miss Angela, Miss Annie, Miss Ava, Miss Bella,
Miss Bridget, Miss Charlotte, Miss Derinsu, Miss Eliza-Rose,
Miss Elizabeth, Miss Ella, Miss Emma, Miss Erin, Miss Eve,
Mr. Freddy, Miss Gabrielle, Miss Georgia, Miss Hannah,
Miss Harper, Miss Indiana-Rose, Miss Isabella, Miss Jada, Miss Janet,
Miss Ellie, Miss Maisie, Miss Mia, Miss Rachel, Miss Remi, Miss Rose,
Miss Sienna, Miss Stephanie, Miss Tara, Miss Taylor, Miss Thea,
Miss Alice, Miss Amelia, Miss Asha, Miss Cassie, Miss Ella, Miss Emily,
Miss Grace, Miss Isla, Miss Kira, Miss Kyla, Miss Lily Belle, Miss Sadie,
Miss Lucy, Miss Romani, Miss Roxi, Miss Sophie and Miss Violet!

Happy Birthday for May to -

Miss Twinkle Toes, Miss Jasmine, Miss Isabella, Miss Asha, Miss Ava,
Miss Bella, Miss Charlotte, Miss Despina, Miss Edie, Miss Elissa, Miss Ella, Miss Eloise,
Miss Candice, Miss Esme, Miss Fallon, Miss Georgia,
Miss Isabel, Miss Jasmin, Miss Jessica, Miss Jordan, Miss Kasey,
Miss Kristie, Miss Lucy, Miss Madeline, Miss Mayla, Miss Mia, Miss Molly, Miss Nicole,
Miss Oakley, Miss Olivia, Miss Phoebe, Miss Piper, Miss Ruby, Miss Sally, Miss Sophie,
Miss Tallulah, Miss Tia, Miss Danae, Miss Alexa, Miss Ella, Miss Lucy,
Miss Edie, Miss Alicia, Miss Amelie, Miss Ella,
Miss Ellen, Miss Hannah, Miss Hennessy, Miss Immacolota, Miss Isabella, Miss Koco,
Miss Kyla, Miss Poppy, Miss Rosie, Miss Sienna, Miss Stella, Miss Zoe and Miss Lou Lou!

Enrolment Forms

Please make sure you have filled out an enrolment form for 2010, we are updating our system and it would be terrible to miss out on a Happy Birthday!!

New Studio’s!

Over the Easter Holidays we glamourfied a drab 1^st floor space in Northcote into a gorgeous, glittery wonderland!
It is in a fabulous position on High St, right in the heart of it.
We have two Dance studio’s in the building and a fabulous room for the mums and siblings where they can watch through windows at the dance class. We consumed gallons of pink and lime paint to cover up the hectares of “Earthenware Rust!” (The name we lovingly gave the hideous colour.)

We also opened Studio 2 in St Kilda, which renovations crept into Term 2….. Nearly did it all…. pant, pant!
Studio 2 looks wonderful (of course!) it is a smaller, more intimate studio for littlies that are a feeling shy and need a smaller class and room. It is working like a charm!

Introducing our Gracious Teachers -

Miss Twinkle Toes AKA Miss Brianna. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.
Glittery Tap, Giggle Ballet, Funky Jazz, Hip Hop & Acrobatics 5yr to 14yrs.
Adults Absolute-Beginners & Not-So-Beginners Tap.

Miss Daisy Chain AKA Miss Casey. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Giggle Ballet, Fairy Tap & Funky Jazz 2yr to 7yrs.
Adults Absolute-Beginners Tap & Funky Jazz.

Miss Bluebell AKA Miss Jo. Mordialloc & St Kilda Studios.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.
Glittery Tap, Giggle Ballet and Funky Jazz 5 to 14yrs.
Adults Almost-Intermediate Tap, Broadway Jazz.

Miss Marigold AKA Miss Elyssia. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky and Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.

Miss Jojo. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Adults Intermediate & Not-So-Beginners Tap.

Miss Elise. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Adults Almost-Intermediate & Absolute-Beginners Tap.

Mr. Troy. Mordialloc Studio.
Teaching – Hip Hop 10 to 14yrs.

Miss Apple Blossom AKA Miss Natalie. Mordialloc & St Kilda Studios.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet & Giggle Ballet 2yrs to 5yrs.
Ballet & Funky Jazz 8yrs to 14yrs.
Adults Intermediate Tap & Beginners Ballet.

Miss Lovie Dove AKA Miss Vanessa. Mordialloc & St Kilda Studios.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet & Giggle Ballet 2yrs to 5yrs.

Miss Starlight AKA Miss Helen. St Kilda Studio.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs

Miss Petal Pie AKA Miss Tegan. St Kilda & Northcote Studios.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.
Funky Jazz and Acrobatics 5yrs to 10yrs.
Adults Almost-Intermediate & Absolute-Beginners Tap.

Miss Sugarplum AKA Miss Billie. St Kilda & Northcote Studios.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.
Glittery Tap, Giggle Ballet, Hip Hop, Funky Jazz & Singing 5yrs to 10yrs.

Miss Lollipop AKA Miss Neroli. Northcote Studio.
Teaching – Fairy Ballet, Fairy Tap, Funky & Fairy Jazz 2yrs to 5yrs.
Glittery Tap, Giggle Ballet, Hip Hop, Funky Jazz & Singing 5yrs to 10yrs.
Adults All levels of Tap, Ballet, Contemporary & Broadway Jazz.

Classes & Teachers

As you can see, we have quite a number of gorgeous teachers.
They are all highly trained as well as trained in Glittery Tapping Wonderlandification.

Each of our gracious teachers are different from each other and they all bring their own gorgeousness to their classes, whether their class is more structured, or more playful, quiet or boisterous, the music they choose and how much pink they wear is all a reflection of their personality.

As each dancer/student/fairy/mum and their/your needs are also different, sometimes you or your child may not “click” with the teacher, if this arises, please have a chat to Miss Lou Lou, we can find the right class!

Concert Update

December each year we have a fabulous Explosion of dancing!
Last year we had a wonderful day and all went swimmingly!
The theme was “Hilarious and Incredible Renditions” so each song was revamped in some way.
The theme for 2010’s Explosion is “Why did you do that!?”

I am sure our gracious teachers will have a grand ol’ time working out what to do this year!!

Our concerts and rehearsals are designed to be as painless and trouble free as possible.
We have an evening adults show and 3 daytime kids shows at Wesley College, on St Kilda Road.
The Kids shows are split up e.g. Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes will perform in one show and Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday classes will perform in another so that the show doesn’t run for 300 hours!

DATES TO PUT INTO DIARY

– Rehearsals: Saturday the 6^th & Sunday the 7th November.

- Concert: Saturday the 11^th & Sunday the 12^th of December.

Don’t panic, you wont be required for both rehearsals and both performances. We are working on who will go where.

2 to 3 YEAR OLD CLASSES – Don’t participate in the Explosion at the theatre. We invite the parents and grandparents to watch the last class of Term 4 and they can be exhilarated by their fairies wearing their bestest fairy dress showing off their wonderful dancing skills! Depending on the class… they may have a little dance to perform … or not!

COSTUMES - We have an attic full of fabulous costumes, tutus and accessories that we rent for the concert, hire fee is somewhere between $20 and $30. (No sewing!!)

REHEARSAL - Our rehearsal is either a Saturday or Sunday, each class is allotted 10 minutes on the stage, where they run through their dance routine in costume on the stage maybe 3 or 4 times.
We don’t run a “Full Dress Rehearsal” where the show is run from start to finish as it too much for everyone.
This always makes a good show as there are always spontaneous and hilarious moments and it’s always a little crazy, but we like it that way!

DVD – a professional company, who edits it and has them ready for you usually before Christmas, films the concert. DVD’s are usually around $30, which you will need to pre-order and pay for.
(We don’t make a commission from the DVD’s like most schools.)

PHOTOS - We allow photos to be taken during the concert and ask parents to come to the front of the stage and take a photo of their child after they have finished their dance.

We will keep you updated on all the Explosion information as the year passes on through the Taploid.

Photos in Class

We are happy if you photograph your darlings in class, as these are such gorgeous moments to capture and look back on in years to come. Please check that no one else is freaking out about it though!

3 years and over

As the term moves along and your children are comfortable in their dance classes, we ask that our lovely mums and dads move upstairs to the Loft (St Kilda) or stay in the Dolls House (Northcote). You can still see the class in action and your fairies know that you are there.
This helps with their concentration and makes the class run much more smoothly.

For Mums who are watching in the studio,
Please keep the talking on the down low!
It makes it very difficult to teach over the top of noisy chatter and loud siblings. Thanks.

Glitterization Day

Hold your breath no longer O’ Glamorous Ones!
St Kilda and Northcote – Saturday the 5^th of June at 3.00pm – $20
Mordialloc – Saturday the 12^th of June at 3.00pm – $20
At the Glittery Tapping Wonderland

What to bring – Your Dance shoes and 3 vials of glitter.
Please pop your name on the list and please pre pay.

Term Fees

Please make sure that all fees are paid up by week three of term.
Otherwise our starving teachers will be scrounging around in the front garden for nuts and berries.
~ Please note that the second class/second child discount only applies for the first week of term.

Dr Lottie

Dr. Lottie is our in-house mental health advisor, who writes a column for our Taploid each month.
Students are encouraged to write in to ask her advice.
Her answers are usually a little harsh and to the point, so be prepared!
Please feel free to email Dr. Lottie with your health questions at dr.lottie@glitterytappingwonderland.com

Each year she insists on performing with her husband “The Professor” at our Explosion, they are avid dancers and it’s hard to say no to them.
…..Always something to look forward too!

HEALTH CORNER

Questions to the highly qualified Dr Lottie Prospect.

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Recently I went to IKEA to buy a new bed. This seems like an easy task to most, but I am writing to you because it was the most stressful event I have ever had in my entire life and I am wondering if I am over-reacting.
Foolishly I thought you could simply order a bed and have it delivered. But I was wrong.
After finding the bed in the enormous rabbit warren, I needed to write down a series of aisle numbers and product codes so that I could locate it in the pick up area, then order a mattress, collect a receipt and make my way through the entire store to where I would pick up the pieces for the bed.

Stupidly I had picked up two rugs on my travels and as there was no trolley’s in sight, I had to drag them through the store.
I reached the trolley station, exhausted; I placed the rugs on the trolley. I started to search out the aisle numbers and product codes, insanely frazzled, I asked for help from an IKEA worker!
This assistant must have been born with no insides, as his face and body were limp as waved his hand in a vague direction toward the pieces to be put on the trolley. They were huge. No assistance was offered from the jellyfish as I struggled with them. Then I had to get the mattress! How?

Fighting back tears I asked the limp rag how to get the mattress and how do I push two trolleys? He said I had to pay for everything first and then pick up the mattress from over there; he vaguely waved a limp arm toward the west.
Standing in a cue with thousands of happy customers, I waited. Finally I am ready to pay, I open my purse and to my horror, my credit card is missing! My eyes instantly rolled into the back of my head, I rummaged through my bag and couldn’t find anything useful except a cheque book. This could be used, but I had to go to another counter. The tick in my left eye started to grow more intense as I pushed the trolley over to another counter.

All paid up I put the receipt into my wallet and headed to the next counter for the mattress. They needed the receipt. Why don’t I empty my wallet occasionally? I couldn’t find the receipt, so I spread all the receipts out all over the counter and suggested to the new limp sea creature that he should find the receipt. Finally the mattress is wheeled out and I push two enormous trolleys over to the home delivery counter.

It seems like the tragedy is almost over until the rugs need to be removed from underneath the pile of bed frame. Why, why, it’s all too much!
I find another trolley for the rugs and after paying cash and leaving my mobile phone number for them to be able to contact me for delivery, I leave the bed and mattress and push the trolley with my rugs out the front door. Fresh air, I am free!
But no, I had to leave my trolley at the trolley station; you can’t push the trolley into the car park. Take this ticket.
Twitch, twitch went my eye as I wiped the froth from the corners of my mouth and walked towards the car park, validate my parking ticket, no please don’t make me go back in there.
I won’t go. I wont validate.
I got into my car, what did I do with that parking ticket, have I got the trolley ticket. Get me out of here!
Handing my ticket to the trolley attendant, he waved a limp arm at the trolley and walked off. In IKEA language this means, load the rugs into the car your self.

As I drove down the ramp I thought I should call my husband to say the bed was ordered, paid for and did he have my credit card. Reaching into my bag I had a flash of where I had left my mobile phone, it was back at work on the bench.

It was a strained journey home as I worried about how the delivery service would contact me about the arrival of the bed, where my credit card disappeared to and would I make it back home through traffic to pick up my children before 3.30pm, make a birthday cake, blow balloons, hang streamers and throw a party for my son.
Dr. Lottie, I am now hyperventilating as I write this to you.
Do you think I have an anxiety problem?

Signed Psychiatrically Disordered and Mentally Unstable.

Dear Psychiatrically Disordered and Mentally Unstable,

Interestingly enough I too have bought a bed at IKEA.
I found the whole experience magnificently exciting, a bit like being on camp when I was a Girl Guide many years ago.
People these days are far too soft, I feel you need to toughen up
I applaud Mr. IKEA and his tremendous Do-it-yourself ways.
My suggestion to you is to return the bed; another event in itself; spin on your heel and return into IKEA buy another bed. This time remember your credit card.

Thank you for your tall tale of insane proportions.
Dr Lottie.

Thanks for reading!
Love Miss Lou Lou xx

News and Yous

We are nearly to the end of our marathon 12 week term!
The last class of term is on
Saturday the 28th of June.
We will have two weeks break then,
Term 3 commences on Monday the 14th of July.

Term 3 is a 10 week term and the fees for the term are $125.
To receive a Multiple children/multiple classes discount – $100 per term, fees need to be paid prior to the commencement of Term 3. (13/07/08)
Fees can be paid at the studio, or during the holidays by Credit card over the phone or by cheque.
(Payable to Glittery Tapping Wonderland, 2 Lamana St Mordialloc, 3195.)

Happy Birthday to-

Miss Melanie, Miss Emily, Miss Charlotte, Miss Jordan, Miss Allie, Miss Judy,
Miss Madeline, Miss Olivia, Miss Kylie, Miss Mia, Miss Kate, Miss Gael,
Miss Rhonda, Miss Allegra, Miss Eva, Miss Annisa, Miss Nicole, Miss Clementine,
Miss Emma, Miss Mary, Miss Zara, Mr. John, Miss Laura, Miss Deanna,
Miss Ruby, Miss Bridget, Miss Ally, Miss Rachel, Miss Janine, Miss Tess,
Miss Cherry, Miss Cheri, Miss Jemma, Miss Ashleigh, Miss Molly, Miss Lucy,
Miss Natasha, Miss Isabella, Miss Sophie, Miss India, Miss Ava, Miss Catherine,
Miss Naomi, Miss Joanne and Miss Alice!

International Tap Dancing Day Photo Shoot!

Thanks to all the lovely kids and Mums who made their way down to the Frankston boardwalk for the photo shoot, the photos looked great!

International Tap Dancing Day!

The International Tap Day was so much fun!
It was a glorious sunny morning we tap danced along the Frankston Pier, then up the path to the bridge, where we all danced the Shim Sham.
Next year we will be really organized and will invite loads of local dance schools along and really have the bridge shaking!!

Tap Boot Camp and Glitterization Day!

What a great fun, rainy afternoon we had, tapping to the sound of the rain on the roof and then glitterizing our shoes with a glass of champagne!
If you missed glitterization day, we will have another one very soon!

Glittery Tapping Wonderland – Learn to Tap Dance DVD!

Hooray!
After two and a half years in the making…

The Learn to Tap Dance DVD with Miss Lou Lou is here!

Not only do you learn to tap dance on the DVD, but also there is Hot Tapping Tips and the Glitterization Process!

Only $19.95 for all that enjoyment and entertainment!

Term 3 Class Enrolments

We are now taking enrolments for term 3.
It is essential that you let your teacher know if you are returning and pay a $30 deposit to secure your place in the class.
We have a huge waiting list of patient students waiting to find a place in a class, if a deposit isn?t paid, unfortunately we cannot hold your place.
Remember – if you pay your fees before the end of this term, you can receive the discount for multiple classes/siblings. (Deposit not necessary if Full Term Fees are paid)

New Studio!

We have been planning a move for some time now, and finally it is going to happen!
We are moving our Armadale and Caulfield classes into our new Studio for the beginning of Term 3. (Starting Monday the 14/06/08)
The Monday, Tuesday and Friday schedule will remain the same, but will be at the new location.
We will also be offering classes on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday!
Our new location is- 148a Barkly Street, ST KILDA
(Opposite the National Theatre)

A $30 deposit is required to reserve you or your child’s place -
~ Which ensures the class goes ahead.
~ To prevent the class being too full.
Please note -
~ Kids classes no more than 10 per class. (11 at a stretch)
~ Classes need numbers of 6 or more to run.
~ New classes are subject to change.

Please feel free to call me if you have any queries, Miss Lou Lou 0414 719 515

Lost Property

Please check the big pink bin for your missing shoes and jumpers!

Fabulous Raffle

When you pay for your term 3 fees, not only to you receive a discount on multiple classes/children, you also receive a ticket in the draw for our Glamour Hamper!
We will have the Glamour Hamper on display at the Mordialloc studio.
We have loads of fabulous items of glamour in our basket!

You would win One Term of Dance classes, Fabulous false eyelashes, essential lipstick, shimmering nail polish, a Glittery Tapping Wonderland Tee shirt, a glamorous flower for your hair, a sticker and the Brand new ?Learn to Tap Dance DVD?
And if you are a bloke?…ummmm… maybe you might fancy a bit of nail polish!

Shoes!

Please keep street shoes off the dance floor, unfortunately it drags in too much sand and muck…. sometimes even doggy doo…
We request that the hip hop/jazz classes either wear bare feet, dance shoes or shoes you have just to dance in.
As the winter rain sets in, please leave your shoes at the front door, the poor shag pile is starting to suffer with the mud that is walked in. Thanks.

Funky Dance, Drama and Singing

We have such a lovely drama and singing class in Mordialloc on Friday afternoons with Miss Helen for 5 to 7 year olds, if you are keen on joining the class please let me know and we can pop you in.
Term 3 we will be adding some funky dancing to the class, wooohooo!

Adult Funky Jazz – Mordialloc

The Intermediate and Beginners Funky Jazz is back on a Monday evening.
Intermediate 7.00pm
Beginner’s 8.00pm.
Please let me know if you are keen. A great workout and fun too!
We are also taking names for a beginner’s funky jazz class on Friday’s at 12 noon.

Adult Absolute Beginners Tap – Mordialloc

We will start the new Wednesday at 1.00pm Beginners tap dancing class in Term 3, please let me know if you are keen and we can squeeze you in!

Costume Levy!

You may have received a costume levy envelope from your gracious teacher; we ask that each student put $25 this term towards his or her costume for the end of year Explosion. This way we have a pool of money for each class to get started on their costumes.
We try to make the costumes very simple and inexpensive!
Now that we have started on learning our dance routines, we can start to get an idea about what we will wear.

Dates for our Rehearsals and Concerts!

Please pop these in your Diary!

MORDIALLOC

Mentone Girls Grammar, Lewty Hall. 11 Mentone Parade, Mentone.
Rehearsal Sunday 23rd of November (Times to be announced)
Saturday 6th of December at 2.00pm for Monday, Wednesday & Friday classes.
Sunday 7th of December at 2.00pm for Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday classes.
Adults Saturday 6th of December at 7.00pm.

ARMADALE & CAULFIELD (Now St. Kilda classes)

Wesley College, St Kilda Rd.
Rehearsal Sunday the 30th of November (Times to be announced)
Concert Adults and Kids, Sunday the 14th of December 2.00pm.

Fabulous Cushions

You may have noticed the lovely new cushions at the Mordialloc studio!
One of out talented and creative Mums made them!
We will have an assortment of cushions on display for you to purchase!

Rowdy Mums

Just wondering if Mums and siblings who are waiting, could keep their noise down whilst the classes are running, it is a bit tricky to teach as the kids are distracted and cant hear their teachers!

We love having you stay and watch, but sometimes it is really loud!

Feral Kids

As you know the Glittery Tapping Wonderland has a caring and nurturing approach to teaching dance. But some days the classes can get a little bit crazy!
Our gracious teachers don’t want to get cross and growl at the kids, this is not what we are about, we would rather offer the non-listening child the option of dancing or sitting down.

For instance, a couple of classes that had been acting up lately had to have the big guns brought in…Miss Lou Lou…Oooh scary!
We sat with the kids and explained that the meanest dance teacher known to man… Miss Shackles… was looking for work and was keen to take over their crazy class.
The children decided it was better to listen to their lovely, sweet, gorgeous teacher; to not do cartwheels and chat through out the entire class; than to have a new scary teacher namely “Miss Shackles” take her place.
The kids have shaped up and are as good as gold!
Please feel free to reinforce this fable so that we keep the kids listening and learning.

Also mentioned was a “5 strokes and you miss the next class” program, the kids agreed that their Mums and Dads would be horrified if they weren’t allowed to come to dancing if they had been naughty!!
If you notice that your child is acting up, we are quite happy for you to nip it in the bud! In fact please feel free to act!

Questions for the highly qualified

Dr Lottie Prospect.

Dear Dr Lottie,

I am in a very desperate position, I hope you can give me some helpful advice.

I attend a tap dancing class once a week, I love it so much, but when I try to practice at home, my hysterical kelpie goes crazy. She stands on her hind legs, yelping and leaping at me, tearing my tights and scratching my legs.

I have tried locking her outside, but she races around the garden and digs up my herbs.

I have tried locking her in another room, but she yaps and leaps at the door scratching the paintwork.

I am driven to distraction and I need to practice! Do you have any suggestions?

Signed Un-Prepared and Out-Of-Practice.

Dr. Lottie at play.

Ashamed and Maimed

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Lately I have been feeling a little unfit and decided to take up a long lost hobby that I did when I was a young filly over twenty five years ago, horse riding.
I booked myself into have a riding lesson at the local equestrian centre where I was to be assessed as to what my level would be and be placed in a riding group.
I gave it a good go, everything started to come back to me, I cantered around the arena, popped over a jump or two, and I felt wonderful!
Until I dismounted, as my feet touched the ground, my legs gave way leaving me trembling in the middle of the riding arena!
Embarrassed, I struggled onto my jellified legs and wobbled my way back to the stables.
I haven’t been able to move my legs for three days! I fear I am over the hill and out to pasture. Am I starting too late in life?

Signed Ashamed and Maimed.

Dear Ashamed and Maimed,
This is a completely normal reaction from your body when coming back to an exercise that you haven’t participated in, in over quarter of a century.
You are not getting any younger you know. Your body is out of shape. What on earth were you thinking?
I am positive that it is far too late in life to get back into the saddle. Have you ever thought of taking up knitting?

Thank you for your long in the tooth letter.
Dr Lottie.

Fidgety and Frustrated

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am a mere child of 10 years old, who loves to dance.
Recently I have been quarantined with dreaded swine flu and I am unable to go to school, let alone go to my wonderful dancing classes.

I am itching to dance, do you have any suggestions of what I can do to do to get well and back to dancing?

Signed Fidgety and Frustrated.

Dear Fidgety and Frustrated,
You poor disease riddled boar.
My suggestion to you is to fly to Mexico where this hideous pandemic originated from and give them back some of their gruesome disease.
As for your dancing, maybe you could practice your chasse turns down the aisle of the plane.

Thank you for your ailing letter.

Dr Lottie.

What-was-my-name-again?

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Mainly I think I am a very good, kind and patient mother.
But sometimes I find with the millions of things going on in our busy lives that I become a little bit forgetful.
I have found that I have left the kettle boiling on the stove, the bath running until it flows out into the hallway, my mother waiting on the other end of the phone whilst I answer the door.
She was there for two hours!
The worst scatterbrained mistake I have made is when I left my little toddler at my daughters dancing class, we drove home and I found he wasn’t in the car seat!
Am I going crackers?
Signed What Was My Name Again?

Dear What Was Your Name Again,
It seems as though you may have lost your marbles.
Has your husband noticed that you have misplaced a couple of your children yet?
Maybe you forgot to tell him.
I think being forgetful is commonplace with most mothers as their brain is set free with the placenta.
I wouldn’t worry your empty head too much about it.
Have your address tattooed to your hand so you know where you live.
Thank you for your absentminded letter,
Dr Lottie.

Frustrated in Flannelette

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am a happily married woman with two adorable children.
Recently, I have fallen madly in love with a younger man.
Unfortunately this younger man that I have fallen for in unattainable.
Firstly, he is in a Rock band so he has young girls throwing themselves at him day and night.
Secondly, he has a girlfriend.
Thirdly I am 42 years old and obviously not as attractive to him as the younger girls.
The other night, whilst my husband was away, he called me on my mobile, I thought that he might have been calling to speak to me and invite me out for a drink with him.
But he was only after another phone number. I was devastated.

Please Dr. Lottie, do you have any suggestions for this unrequited love?
Signed Frustrated in Flannelette.

Dear Frustrated in Flannelette,
You really have an incredibly complex problem.
Unreciprocated love is a very difficult dilemma to face.
My suggestion to you is to let him know that you care, following my suggestions, you can prove your love to him.
Find out where he lives and linger outside his house.
Take photos of him when ever possible.
Go to all of his performances and remain outside, when he appears after the show, bounce out from behind a bush and say Hi.
If he is in a limousine, lie on the hood or kiss the window.
Send him multiple text messages as you have his number in your phone.
Send him perfumed letters, emails and photos of yourself in lingerie.
You could consider starting a website dedicated to him.
You cannot be subtle in your approach; you need to let him know you exist.

Thank you for your desperate letter,
Dr Lottie.

Un-Prepared and Out-Of-Practice

Dear Dr Lottie,

I am in a very desperate position, I hope you can give me some helpful advice.
I attend a tap dancing class once a week, I love it so much, but when I try to practice at home, my hysterical kelpie goes crazy. She stands on her hind legs, yelping and leaping at me, tearing my tights and scratching my legs.

I have tried locking her outside, but she races around the garden and digs up my herbs.
I have tried locking her in another room, but she yaps and leaps at the door scratching the paintwork.

I am driven to distraction and I need to practice! Do you have any suggestions?

Signed Un-Prepared and Out-Of-Practice.

Dear Un-Prepared and Out-Of-Practice,

It sounds to me as though your psychotic dog either enjoys or detests the sound of tap dancing.
Maybe you could try fitting her out with a pair of tap shoes.

You could work up and act; I hear Silvers Circus is auditioning new acts this month.

Thank you for your neurotic letter.

Dr Lottie.

Nervous Wreck

Dear Dr Lottie,
My Tap Dancing School is getting ready for its end of year Concert. I am incredibly nervous, my hands don’t stop shaking and I have broken out in hives. What can I do?
Signed Nervous Wreck.

Dear Nervous Wreck,
No need to stress out of performing. I have an answer that will help you every step of the way with any public appearances.
I often use this if I have a tricky operation, or have to speak at a seminar on Brain Surgery.
Stop into your local Bottle shop and buy a bottle of the best Vodka, Just before you have go on stage drink half the bottle mixed with a little cranberry juice.
It works a treat for those shakes and you can finish the bottle once you come off stage.

Thank you for your timid letter,
Dr Lottie.

Waxy and Mortified

Dear Dr Lottie,
I have an excess earwax problem, every time I go to my tap dancing classes, as I get hot, my ear wax starts to melt and oozes out of my ears.
It is quite embarrassing and really messy.
Do you have any suggestions Dr. Lottie?

Signed Waxy and Mortified.

Dear Waxy and Mortified,
You have possibly the worst and most discomforting problem I have ever come across.
Could you try wearing a towel draped over your shoulders whilst dancing, this may be an effective way to collect the flow as you heat up.

Thank you for your disconcerting letter,
Dr Lottie.

Wet and Pursued

Dear Dr Lottie,
I have been practicing my tap dancing in the shower as it makes a nice slappy sound with my bare feet in the water.
The only problem is that my husband thinks that it is a mating ritual and when he hears my slappy wet feet tapping, he immediately strips off and leaps into the shower with me.
I am fearing that I am not getting enough practice and may not know my tap dancing steps well enough to dance at the end of year Explosion.
Signed Wet and Pursued.

Dear Wet and Pursued,
This truly is an interesting problem.
My advice is to try showering with your clothes on.
Thank you for your food-for-thought letter,
Dr Lottie.

Dr. Lottie Relaxing with a Sherry

Dr. Lottie at the Dancing Explosion.

Discomforted and Hunted

Dear Dr. Lottie,
Last Friday I hurt my back trying to move a dressing table by myself.
The dresser was in an awkward spot and I twisted my back as I lifted it.
Over the weekend my back has increasingly worsened and now I can’t move out of a horizontal position, I have lain flat on my back in bed for two days now.

Unfortunately for me, my husband finds this incredibly arousing, instead of looking after me and letting me rest so that I can get better, he is completely stimulated.
I am not sure how to handle this situation as I am in too much pain to push him away.
Do you have some advice Dr. Lottie?
Signed Discomforted and Hunted.

Dear Discomforted and Hunted, Firstly, what in the dickens were you thinking when trying to lift a dressing table by yourself and did you not bend from the knees?
Apart from the people of today being too soft, they are also, too unthinking. I have no sympathy for you.

As for your husband pursuing you whilst you are flat on your back, I say good luck to him and to get jiggy with it while he can. The Professor is always running from bedroom with a headache and it drives me to distraction.

Thank you for your susceptible letter.
Dr Lottie.

Itchy and Irritated

Dear Dr Lottie,
I have a continuing problem that maybe you could help me with.
Each time I go to my Tap Dancing class, my feet itch, it drives me to distraction and I cant concentrate on my new steps.
Do you have any expert advice?
Signed Itchy and Irritated.

Dear Itchy and Irritated,
Why don’t you just scratch them?
Thank you for your dissatisfying letter.
Dr Lottie.

Angst-Ridden and Agitated

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I am moving my family into a new house this week and I have spent the last month sorting though, packing up, chucking out and boxing up my family’s possessions.
The moving van is on its way, but now I am having second thoughts. What if I don’t like the house? I only saw it once. What if my husband and I don’t like each other after we move in?
I already have plans to lock him in the bathroom before we leave. Have made the wrong decision?
Signed Angst-Ridden and Agitated.

Dear Angst-Ridden and Agitated, I feel you have undergone a lot of stress and turmoil over the past month.
Research has shown that moving house is one of the most stressful life events a family can go through, alongside the level of stress when going through divorce and death.
Last minute fears and doubts can crowd your mind and fill you with hesitation about your decision to move.
My suggestion to you is to put together all the boxes that essentially belong to you, lock all of your family in the bathroom and take off with the removalist.
Thank you for your disturbing letter. Dr. Lottie.

Clunky and Shamed

Dear Dr. Lottie,
I suffer from a problem, which is known to many as “Knocked Knees”.
Having been born with this problem I am have made adjustments to my life and resigned to the fact that I can never wear mini skirts.
But since joining my new Tap Dancing class, I find that when I dance, my knees clunk together.
My teacher is forever yelling at me, telling me to pick up my feet, to stop being so lazy as she thinks that the extra clamor is coming from my feet.
Please Dr. Lottie, do you have any suggestions to this unfortunate problem I am facing?

Signed Clunky and Shamed

Dear Clunky and Shamed,
This is a highly ill-fated dilemma.
My suggestion to you is to wear the shortest mini skirt you can lay your hands and knees upon and wear it to you next Tap Dancing class.
Bravely show off your phenomenal defect, hopefully your Tap Dancing teacher will notice where the noise is emanating from and get off your case.
Alternatively you could give up Tap Dancing altogether.

Thank you for your clattering letter.
Dr Lottie.

Old and Decrepit

Dear Dr Lottie, I have just turned 40 and feel as old as the hills.
Do you have any tips for turning back the hands of time?

Signed Old and Decrepit.

Dear Old and Decrepit, Yes 40 is really old, I mean really really really, really old, I don’t think there is much hope for you now.
It might be worth trying to get yourself onto one of those reality extreme makeover shows they have on TV these days. At least they will be able to make you look a bit more attractive.
It is all down hill from now on.
Thank you for your depressing letter, Dr Lottie.

Black and Blue

Dear Dr. Lottie,
On Saturday I participated in a dance class called “Tap Boot Camp”, it was fabulous, the class was really hard work and a slightly different style to what I learn with my not-so-normal teacher.
I was really getting into the steps, but I accidentally smashed one of my tap shoes into the ankle of my other foot. I find this happens often and my ankles are always covered in bruises.
Is there anything I can do to prevent such a painful outcome to such a pleasurable pastime?

Signed Black and Blue.

Dear Black and Blue,
You are experiencing a disease that is commonly known as “Tanglefoot”.
This is a widespread Disease and is frequented by people who are extremely uncoordinated.
There are a couple of ways to prevent this disorder of bruising to the ankle.
Primarily you could give up your Tap dancing classes.
Secondarily, you could bend one leg at the knee and strap it to the back of your thigh, dance the class on one leg.
This could become a tiring for the leg that is being used, so I suggest swapping legs when the first leg starts to feel weak.

Thank you for your clumsy letter,
Dr Lottie.

Hysterical and Hallucinogenic

Dear Dr Lottie,

I wonder if you may have some expert advice for me.
I seem to be in a flurry every second of the day, rushing here, rushing there, sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I look like the Tasmanian Devil on a Bugs Bunny Cartoon.
My mind a race, my jaw is clenched, my teeth grind and my left eye constantly has an infuriating flitter.
Is there something I can do to help with my intense madness?

Signed Hysterical and Hallucinogenic.

Dear Hysterical and Hallucinogenic,

It seems to me that you are living life in the fast lane.
Do you drink a lot of coffee?
I have heard there is a very relaxing drink call “Red Bull” maybe you should try substituting this for your daily intake of caffeine.
Stay clear of the mirror and all will be sunny.
Thank you for your manic letter.

Dr Lottie.

Erroneous and Illusive

Dear Dr Lottie,
I feeling incredibly frazzled and quite panicked this week I and I hope that you can help me.
I have recently joined a dancing school and to be part of their “Inner Sanctum” “The Fashionable Clique” “The In Crowd” you need to have your tap shoes “Glitterized”, which will be carried out this coming Saturday at their ritualistic “Glitterization Day”.
I spent a few precious moments requesting expert advice on colour choices for green tap shoes with “The Glamour Guru” “The Tapping Top Dog ” “The Sparkling Sufi” and her prestigious Highness-ness-ness waved her incense and murmured “For glamorous green glittery tap shoes you need Key Lime and Lemon”.
With that, I rushed all over Melbourne from one shop to another desperately searching for the mystical Key Lime and Lemon.
Every fruit shop I have asked at have never heard of Key Lime. Luckily I have a Lemon tree and have carefully selected the most perfect Lemon from its bows.

But now I am insane with despair as I am at a loss with this thing called Key Lime.
Dr. Lottie what can I do?
Signed Erroneous and Illusive.

Dear Erroneous and Illusive,
Get a grip on yourself you are obviously in a lather over an issue that is so incredibly unimportant in the scheme of things.
If you had been in a tranquil state of mind and paid attention to your “Sparkling Sufi’s” “guidance” you might have heard correctly. Your so-called “Glamour Guru” was obviously talking about the colour of the glitter you needed to purchase, not some sacred, majestic fruit!
Thank you for your irrational letter.
Dr Lottie.

Freaked out and Fretting

Dear Dr Lottie,
I have an end of year concert coming up with my dancing school and I am starting to feel extremely nervous about it all.
The fact is, that on Monday I have to give a lecture in front of 700 people which doesn’t phase me in the slightest, but dancing at the concert is freaking me out!
What can I do to help with my nervousness?
Signed Freaked out and Fretting.

Dear Freaked out and Fretting,
Most performers get nervous prior to opening night.
Nerves are a good thing.
They give you diarrhea and help you lose weight!
Thank you for your self-deprecating letter.
Dr Lottie.

Vexed and Upset

Dear Dr Lottie,
My Husband has been overseas for number of weeks and my stress levels seem ever increasingly escalating, in fact maniacal.
Do you have any advice for an anxious, stressed, hassled, strained and worried mother?
Signed Vexed and Upset.

Dear Vexed and Upset,
I am sure you must have some semi maniacal traits to begin with. It couldn’t be because your husband is away. You are giving far too much credit to your husband.
My advice is to get on with it and stop wallowing in your own self pity.
Thank you for your unfortunate letter.
Dr Lottie.

Dr. Lottie Relaxing.

Happy Birthday to

Miss Deanna, Miss George, Mr. Luke, Miss Kyra, Miss Emma, Miss Emma,
Miss Jessica, Miss Claudia, Miss Hannah, Miss Alex, Miss Sophia,
Miss Colleen, Miss Ashlee, Miss Kimberly, Miss Michelle, Miss Angelique,
Miss Elizabeth, Miss Hannah, Miss Bridie, Miss Millie, Miss Indya, Miss Holly,
Miss Taylor, Miss Sarah, Miss Zoe, Miss Jordyn, Mr. Toby, Miss Memphis,
Miss Melanie, Miss Yasmin, Miss Poppy, Miss Madeline, Miss Tess, Miss Alice,
Miss Ellen, Miss Isabella, Miss Ruby, Mr. Andrew, Miss Bronte, Miss Dale,
Miss Katia, Miss Koco, Miss Sienna, Miss Francesca, Miss Emelia, Miss Edie,
Miss Mia, Miss Asher, Miss India, Miss Meika, Miss Christine, Miss Jeren
and Uh Oh – Miss Lou Lou!

Tee Shirts For Sale

The glamorous Glittery Tapping Wonderland Tee shirts are in! Yay! We have -
Fabulous new Purple T’s
Glamorous Hot pink T’s
Hot Pink spaghetti strap tops
Cute white with pink capped sleeves
Black scoop neck T’s
3/4 sleeve T’s, black with grey or white with red
Please to try one on for size!

Spaghetti Strap tops – $17.50
Short Sleeve T’s – $19.50
3/4 Sleeve T’s – $20.50
Long Sleeve T’s – $21.50
If we don’t have your size we can order for you!

Tap Boot Camp!

Saturday the 17th of May
The Wonderful Miss Brianna also known as Miss Twinkle Toes will be teaching
2.00pm – Intermediate to Advanced Tap Boot Camp
3.00pm – Beginners to Intermediate Tap Boot Camp
$15 – to be pre paid to reserve you place.

And what is Tap Boot Camp you may ask?
Tap Boot is a casual yet glamorous Saturday afternoon of tap dancing, with drills and new tap steps to help with your tapping.
There may be a routine, which nobody knows (except the teacher) and we will have a little practice of the International Tap Dancing Day routines.

Glitterization Day!

Saturday the 17th of May at 4.15pm (Straight after Boot Camp)
At the Glittery Tapping Wonderland – 2 Lamana st Mordialloc.
What to bring – Your Tap shoes AND 3 vials of glitter
(Ask me about colours & combinations!)
Everything else will be provided.
$15 – to be pre paid to reserve you place.
Your shoes will be ready for International Tap Day!

Dates for our Rehearsals and Concerts!

Please pop these dates in your Diary!

MORDIALLOC
Mentone Girls Grammar, Lewty Hall. 11 Mentone Parade, Mentone.
Rehearsal Sunday 23rd of November (Times to be announced)
Saturday 6th of December at 2.00pm for Monday, Wednesday & Friday classes
Sunday 7th of December at 2.00pm for Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday classes
Adults Saturday 6th of December at 7.00pm.

ARMADALE & CAULFIELD
Wesley College, 577 St Kilda Rd, Melbourne.
Rehearsal Sunday the 30th of November (Times to be announced)
Concert Adults and Kids, Sunday the 14th of December 2.00pm

New Teachers

Glittery Tapping Wonderland is looking for a few extra teachers for our new studio!
She/He must be lovely and glittery, shine with nurturing and patient qualities
and be hilarious and smiley!
Also, must like pink and want to be involved in our kooky world!
She/He must be trained in one or more of these styles -
Jazz, Tap, Ballet, Hip Hop or anything else fabulous you may bring to us.
To be part of the Glittery Tapping Wonderland family please contact
Miss Lou Lou on 0414 719 515

Questions for the highly qualified Dr Lottie Prospect.

Dear Dr Lottie,
I wonder if you may have some expert advice for me.
I seem to be in a flurry every second of the day, rushing here, rushing there,
sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I look like the Tasmanian Devil on a Bugs Bunny Cartoon.
My mind a race, my jaw is clenched, my teeth grind and my left eye constantly has an infuriating flitter.
Is there something I can do to help with my intense madness?
Signed Hysterical and Hallucinogenic.

Dear Hysterical and Hallucinogenic,

It seems to me that you are living life in the fast lane.
Do you drink a lot of coffee?
I have heard there is a very relaxing drink call “Red Bull” maybe you should try
substituting this for your daily intake of caffeine.
Stay clear of the mirror and all will be sunny.
Thank you for your manic letter.
Dr Lottie.

Click here to read more letters from
Dr. Lotties Health Corner!

Love from Miss Lou Lou xxx

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